January 2002 Archives

Which is more entertaining? A. Watching this movie B. Laughing at the lady in the Capri pants who keeps bitching about how she "doesn't get it?"

Which is more revealing? A. Knowing that this is the funniest movie that I've seen all year. B. Realizing that most people don't understand why.

I could feel sorry for the wench in the fourth row who doesn't understand why this movie is so funny. I could, but the hard truth is that I want to be her. Not so much or the fact that she's a woman, but more for the fact that she seems to have much simpler tastes.

I wish that I could summon a belly laugh when Becker calls his patients "morons," or when I receive forwards about Bin Laden... but I can't. My sense of humor has been so horribly warped that I have to resort to movies like The Royal Tennanbaums to make me laugh. Sadly, I didn't even like the movie all that much. Gene Hackman was brilliant and I laughed a lot, but the constant back and forth between ridiculous and serious gave me the runs.

Well, I guess this is my lot in life. Instead of enjoying reruns of The Fresh Prince, I'm stuck hunting for movies made by weirdoes... movies that will further isolate me from those I hold dear. Damn those who did this to me! Damn you PorkPony! Instead of making fun of you, I have become you. You suck the royal tennanbaum. On a scale from 1 to Club11, The Royal Tennanbaums gets a 7 1/2.

Jason Kornblatt strikes again, this time with gas. -CL

Pork Pony acquired the Intelli-head in early 2002 as a web-site navigation aid. Soon after, Intelli-head's intuiton-driven advice-giving powers revealed themselves and we gave the robot a second job. -CL

Drinking Buddy ranks among my five favorite Pork Pony stories. Weaver's tale of two ancient warriors venting had me laughing out loud in the true sense, not that cheesy, LOL-type (God, I hate those abbreviations, but that's another story for another time). Enjoy. -CL

Biscuit appeared in the third issue of Pork Pony. I'd consider it the best of my stories from the early PP days and one of my favorite stories I've written. It's the story of a sentient plastic donkey head trying to fit in among humans. -CL

Time and Punishment demonstrates Jason Kornblatt's ability to be Jason Kornblatt; a dude who sees comedy where other people see boring, everyday life. This was his first story for Pork Pony. -CL

David Kendall was an ever-enthusiastic contributor to Pork Pony. He endured a lengendary in-house standoff with our brash elder statesman Stuart Gimble, sang the Pork Pony theme song, and provided us with his serial story, My Name Is Not William, the story of a man who wonders why people seem to suddenly "know" him. A few years ago, Kendall mentioned to me that he had finished the run of the story, but I never saw the last episodes. Hopefully, the birth of Unloosen will bring about the final chapters. -CL

In our college days at Penn State, Ed Darrin and I shared a taste for bizarre, post-modern literature. I think he's always been able to better articulate the form than I have. 12 and 1 is a great example of what came into our heads in the wake of McSweeney's. -CL