Shame to Waste the Hushpuppies by Craig J. Clark
July 24, 2008
John pushed the plate away, having reached the point where further food consumption was undesirable. He had eaten everything on the plate except for three hushpuppies, which he didn’t have room for and didn’t feel like making room for. He didn’t want to waste them, but didn’t seem to have much choice in the matter. The first couple had gone down okay, but that was because he had had fish to eat with them. Now the fish were gone and the hushpuppies remained. The bland, virtually tasteless hushpuppies.
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Reclamation by Chris Leavens
July 20, 2008
One fish monster is never enough. (Illustration Friday, topic: enough)
Prints: chrisleavens.imagekind.com
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Fear Itself: “New Year’s Day” -- reviewed by Craig J. Clark and Joe Blevins
July 19, 2008
I hate being lied to. Maybe I’m simply too trusting in general, but when I see something in a film or a television show I like to think that it happened the way it was depicted (unless, of course, the event takes place in an obvious dream or fantasy sequence, in which case I’m more than willing to give the filmmakers [or telefilmmakers, as the case may be] the benefit of the doubt). The one thing I can’t stand is when I’m led to believe one thing for 55 minutes (or 85 minutes or 235 minutes) only to have the rug pulled out from under me in the last five. (That being said, if somebody did make a four-hour film that relied on a twist ending, I would have to grudgingly admire him or her for having the balls [or ovaries, as the case may be] to try it even if I still ended up hating the film itself.)
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DHL Mania by Chris Leavens
July 15, 2008
In PA, Adriana and I visited DHL, who decided to dress conservatively for the occassion:
Adriana partook in the good Doctor's Drank (thanks, Ed) sipping ritual, effectively "slowing his roll:"
We watched and laughed as dr. SATAN, who lives a few houses down from DHL, mowed his lawn. Lunchbox of Blood showed us their instruments of terror, talked about playing them, and then fed us hamburgers. It was good.
Posted by Chris at 9:30 PM | Comments (3)
Mannequin Torso by Chris Leavens
July 12, 2008
For my 25th birthday, I received a female mannequin torso. It was a group effort and the culprits included Wargo, Kendall, and Jack. This was back in the glory days when both Wargo and Kendall were still existing in LA. Seven years have past and I finally feel like I've done the mannequin some justice. Here she is (click on the little photos for the big ones):
Admittedly, my painting skills are a little rusty and it shows in my technique. There's more painting stuff planned for the near future, so a remedy called practice may cure my ills.
Acrylics on mannequin.
Posted by Chris at 7:02 PM | Comments (11)
Man by Craig J. Clark
July 10, 2008
What are you going to do, just sit there and stare at me? Didn’t you notice when you sat down in the driver’s seat that your vehicle had a passenger? What do you expect me to do? Fly away or something? I’m hanging on for dear life here! I’m sure this trip would have been no picnic even if I had stayed under the hood, but I was tired of being cooped up under there. I had to go exploring.
Good God, man, watch the road! Are you trying to get us both killed or something? If you want to see what I am, wait until we reach a stoplight or something. In the meantime, do you think you could slow down a little? I know the posted speed limit is 30 mph, but it’s taking all my strength just to stay curled up in this little ball. You think it’s easy being an insect? You try it sometime.
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Bug by Craig J. Clark
July 10, 2008
What the hell was that thing? He hadn’t noticed it when he sat down in the driver’s seat, but it must have been there. Insects generally didn’t land on vehicles that were in motion – not live ones, anyway. Then again, this one didn’t appear to have any wings. Perhaps it had been hiding under the hood and had chosen an inopportune moment to explore the windshield.
And was it even an insect? Whenever he was able to steal a glance at it he tried to count its legs to see whether it was a spider or not, but that was hard to do with the poor little creature flattened against the glass. He wasn’t even driving that fast, but 30 mph appeared to be enough to keep it immobile.
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Posted by Craig at 9:49 AM | Comments (1)
Dutiful Steve by alex kinnan
July 10, 2008
Dutiful Steve, Dutiful Steve,
Dodge that Plymouth with a beautiful weave,
Rocket your chrome past the lush of Spring green,
All squat upon leather like a plump little bean.
Posted by Alex at 3:33 AM | Comments (5)
Fear Itself: “Eater” -- reviewed by Joe Blevins and Craig J. Clark
July 6, 2008
“We’re off on the road to Morocco / Well look out / Well clear the way / ’Cause here we come” – BING CROSBY & BOB HOPE (1942)
You can buy just about anything in Marrakesh, anything you can name. By day, the tourists – their thick necks glistening in the relentless Moroccan sun, the backs of their knees moist with afternoon sweat – haggle with the shopkeeps over jewelry, drugs, and gray-market electronics in the large, open-air souk. But by night, when the day-trippers and sightseers are safely tucked away in their overpriced hotels, Marrakesh becomes something different altogether. Call it Hell’s own strip mall. That’s when the bargains really start flying. You say want a man killed? Fifty dirhams, please. His head brought back to you on a platter? That’ll be five extra. (Ten if you’re a traditionalist and insist on a silver platter.) A government overthrown? Right away, sir. I think 200 dirhams should cover it. Cash up front, of course. Your Discover card’s no good here.
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Chris's Art in Two Locations at Once!?
July 1, 2008
Vacation has ended, bringing me back to LA, back to usable Internet, and back to another group art show:
Flying sunglasses will apparently be in attendance as will my artwork, but unfortunately I will not be present. Adriana and I will be enjoying our nation's independence along the central coast of California. Hopefully we won't be engulfed in flames or anything.
But wait, there's more:
My artwork is also currently on display at the Flintridge Bookstore, an independent bookstore in affluent La Canada-Flintridge, CA. The bookstore's been nice enough to house my work for the past three weeks or so and may continue to do so for another month or so. If you're in the area and want to see the majesty that is the work of "Christo" in person, you have two options. Bookstore address: 964 Foothill Blvd. La Cañada Flintridge, CA 91011.
Posted by Chris at 3:10 PM | Comments (4)
Fear Itself: “In Sickness and in Health” -- reviewed by Craig J. Clark and Joe Blevins
June 27, 2008
I don't why I got my hopes up about this week's Fear Itself. Maybe it was because I had actually seen some of director John Landis's previous work and liked it very much. Sure, before the Masters of Horror series came along a couple years back he didn't have that many horror credits to his name (unless you count 2 1/4 as "many"), but An American Werewolf in London is a classic of the genre and is, in my estimation, one of the best werewolf movies ever made. I confess that I have yet to see either of Landis's Masters of Horror episodes, but I certainly hope they're better than "In Sickness and in Health," which probably could have used a werewolf or two to spice it up.
As usual with this series, the problems start with the script and this one just so happens to have been written by Victor Salva, the writer/director of the Jeepers Creepers movies and a convicted child molester whose work I've managed to avoid up until now. I'm not saying he's incapable of making scary movies because of his checkered past (quite the opposite, in fact), but some people simply don't need to be encouraged. And if this teleplay is any indication of his talents, he won't be. Who knows? He may have the great American pedophiliac werewolf story inside him, but who's going to want to get it out of him?
Posted by Craig at 10:36 PM | Comments (4)
L.O.B. Mascot by Chris Leavens
June 25, 2008
DHL and some other east-central PA guys have started a pop group called Lunchbox of Blood. They sound a lot like Air Supply, only louder, noisier, and drunker. After an 84-groupie escapade, DHL asked me to come up with some artwork, something that would depict the "smooth, dentist-office calm that is L.O.B." (his words, not mine). Minus the text elements, this be where I'm at:
I don't know if it's AM radio enough for them.
Posted by Chris at 9:08 PM | Comments (13)
Fear Itself: “Family Man” -- reviewed by Joe Blevins and Craig J. Clark
June 21, 2008
Attentive readers will recall from last week’s article my harrowing ordeal at the hands of alleged thespian Eric Roberts via his televised appearance in last week’s episode of Fear Itself. What I neglected to include in my review, however, was the aftermath of this shameful incident. Apparently, in an Roberts-induced state of delirium, I began wailing and howling in a manner more befitting an animal than a man, and these odd vocalizations of mine were audible throughout the apartment complex in which I currently reside.
I was, as they say, “pretty far gone” by the time the local police knocked on my door to make inquiries as to my safety and sanity. These law enforcement officials were responding to a 911 call made by my neighbor, an elderly widow named Viberta Wigfall. Fortunately, Mrs. Wigfall is one of my oldest and dearest friends, and her call to the police was merely an act of motherly concern rather than one of spite or malice. Regaining my composure under these admittedly embarrassing circumstances, I managed to convince both the police officers and Mrs. Wigfall that everything was perfectly all right, and we all adjourned to our respective dwellings.
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Chair by Craig J. Clark
June 19, 2008
It was like that one Volkswagen commercial. You know, the one that reintroduced Trio’s “Da Da Da” to a nation that had forgotten a group called Trio ever existed. There were differences, of course. (If there hadn’t been, I would have said, “It was that one Volkswagen commercial” and been done with it.) For one thing, I was alone, so I had no one to react to (or to react to me). For another, I was on foot, so I didn’t have a car to tool around in. And do I have to mention that my misadventure was not scored by any '80s music whatsoever? (Well, I suppose I could have had a boom box or a Walkman or whatever portable device people use to listen to music nowadays, but I didn’t, so now I have cleared that up.)
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