This was given to me as a birthday present a few years ago. It is a marvel of mangled English. Behold, the product of Chinese translation, design, and engineering:
Yes, in case you were wondering what class of vehicle this was, it is the ever-so desirable "Advanced Grade of Contest Model."
This bold illustration entices English-speaking youth everywhere to feel the power and luxury that is an Awning Car.
One of my life goals was finally fulfilled on Wednesday night when my friend Alex and I met Chris Elliot. In this photo, the king of absurd comedy is pointing to his cadre of Alsatian bodyguards, each of which, he described, would kick my ass if I didn't leave at that very moment. I counted twenty-four of the the brutes, but there may have been a few little ones hiding in the stovepipe-leg pants of the big guys.
Alex was so scared by the impending doom that he wet himself.
The following is the English translation provided on the box that my ornamental cat with the swinging paw came with. I purchased it down in Chinatown in Philadelphia.
Do you think there are sweatshops that are filled with nothing but ten year olds copy writing? (And now my brilliant pun in the title is understood!)
On a side note: I hope to get my creative juices flowing and produce a story soon. I have ideas floating in the ethereal void that is my noggin but nothing has manifested itself into the written word. Probably soon as I am back in the city of Brotherly Love and Philadelphia seems to be my muse. To be more exact, my muse and my mugger.
