"Yes, that really is my name."
"It's spelled exactly how you think it is."
"There are probably more of us out there than you would expect."
"Yes, I do know how that sounds."
"No, I do not own a leather jacket."
"No, I do not own a pair of leather pants."
"No, I have not thought about taking it up as a hobby."
"Yes, I am aware of what is involved."
"No, I do not know where you can buy one of those hoods with the zippers on the eyes and mouth."
"Yes, I do know what comes up when you type my name into a search engine."
"No, I do not believe that I'm destined to go into the business."
"Yes, I do get funny looks from retail clerks when I use my credit card."
"Yes, sir. Your daughter will be marrying into the Leatherman name."
"No, I have not given serious thought to having it changed."
"If being a Leatherman was good enough for my father, then it's good enough for me."
"Yes, I am aware of how that sounds."
"Actually, the leather and rubber fetish subcultures are very different, though not mutually exclusive."
"I admit that I have looked into it a little, but only because it comes up in conversation so much."
"Yes, officer, that is my actual driver's license."
"No, officer, this is not a joke."
"No, officer, I did not get my name changed on a dare."
"No, officer, I don't even like leather jackets. Not that there's anything wrong with the one you're wearing. I'm just not a leather man."
"No, officer, I'm not lying. I was just saying--"
"Yes, your honor, that really is my name."
Poor Mark! At least he can take comfort in the fact that his first name isn't David.
It's the Late Show with David Leatherman!
Yeah, that probably would have been too much to bear.
Good one! When I hear the name "Leatherman," my mind immediately conjures up an image of a tough, multi-purpose tool. Yes, when other people envision fetish, I see pragmatic, lifelong utility.