Tractor Girl by Frog

The flames make it go faster, too. Where's the "Type R" sticker?

Ahhh there's nothing hotter than a farmers daughter in shorts showing off her legs on a tractor.

Men! Look at her! Look at her go! At first I was, like so many, resistant to her overall mass and the abundance of grease in her home-cooked meals.

But then she blew through the walls of what Sting (so rightly) called "The fortress around my heart", at A HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR, mounted on a flaming lawn tractor that rolled boldly on what are surely the spiritual cousins of the finest chromed twenty-two's.

I soon learned that within her great abundance of the flesh was a boundless desire to live, and to learn, and ... to love.

I learned that much of her food was not made by her, but was, like her tractor, fast.

In ages yet to come, some will surely tell the tale of she who rode the great Wheel Horse past all obstacles and into the heart of the City of Love.

They will marvel at how she claimed her true love and told him that now she would plow HIS field.

They will weep and look toward the far horizon when they hear of how she went all-out on a regimen of yoga and Ensure, dropped more than half her body weight and then, when the flood came, hoisted her now too-large green top above Wheel Horse and, with her willing prisoner of love, sailed to the promised land.

This truly, is a picture of legend. A record of an epic moment of freedom.

Ah, the lady and her chariot. I did have a dream once where a heavy duty beauty was tearin' ass down the road on a flaming tractor. Not sure what the symbolism is for that one, but I think it has something to do with a place called, "Rock Bottom". That is out past Bear Valley Avenue, right?